A message from Rabbi Yechiel Eckstein

How Long?
November 28, 2010

How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?— Psalm 13:1–2

Read aloud these first five lines from Psalm 13. Can you hear the despair in the psalm writer's voice? Can you feel his sense of abandonment, his angst, his burden of sorrow? Four times in these first two verses, King David cries out, "How long… how long… how long… how long?"

If we are honest, haven't there been times in our lives when we have felt like that? How long before a job opportunity comes along? How long will I be barren, or single, or sick? How long before You make my path ahead known to me? How long, God, before you answer my prayer? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts of worthlessness, of depression, of loneliness? How long?

If we are honest, we know this feeling all too well. Like David, we often feel that same impatience with God. Why hasn't He acted yet? Has He even heard my prayer? What is taking so long? When is He going to act? David often claimed that God was slow to act on his behalf, but even in his lowest moments, David affirmed that he was going to trust God — no matter what.

Indeed, we see David's wonderful affirmation at the very end of this short lament: "But I will trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me. I will sing to the LORD because he has been so good to me." How could David arrive at that point so seamlessly, so quickly?

I think part of the answer lies in David's steadfast faith in God. Even at his lowest point, David's faith never wavered. And that came from a lifetime of walking with God, of trusting Him, of taking every thought, care, anxiety, and thanksgiving to Him. David was never very far from the One who could protect and guide him.

I also believe that David found strength as he expressed his feelings to God. In taking his doubts and his questions directly to God, David didn't focus inward and allow self-pity or negativity to spiral out of control. Rather he talked to God about what he was feeling, and as he did, God helped David gain a new perspective, and ultimately, that gave David peace.

When we are prone to despair, to crying out "how long," remember David. Talk to God and see how long it will be before you are singing praises to God because of His goodness to you.

With prayers for shalom, peace,

Truths...

100 Awesome Things! - Brave Girls Club

Brave Girls Printouts!

Oh I am so very excited about the Brave Girls Club printouts!! This is awesome!

Brave Girls Club

I wonder if I would be brave enough to give these to strangers. How would friends feel if I posted them on their facebook walls at random? What if they don't like them or I pick the wrong one to give? I wonder...

Putting my shoulders back...

"There's something about a person filled with hope...

The enemy always fights you the hardest when he knows God has something great in store.

When the bottom falls out and it looks like you hit an all-time low... when it just couldn't get any worse... You don't know what God has around the corner. That is not the time to get bitter. That's not the time to get negative. That is the time to put your shoulders back and boldly declare: My time is coming. I am a victor and not a victim."

- It's Your Time, by Joel Osteen, p.23

Beautiful Quote

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
from 'A Return To Love' by Marianne Williamson

Following the 21 day challenge with Rhonna has been challenging, most of my "creating" has been in a word document on my computer. I have ideas for my art journal. I have the paper picked out and the ribbons and some fun lettering and silk flowers. I have cut and pasted onto my document what I want to put on each page but that is as far as my creating it has gone. This is an emotional roller coaster for me. I have good days and days that I hide. The word for the day yesterday and every day for the next few weeks is "Authenticity" I want to be who Jesus wants me to be. I want to be authentically His!

Danny MacAskill - "Way Back Home" - NEW street trials riding short film

Brave Girl...Authentic Girl... To be truthful and Real

Today's Brave Girl post meant a lot to me.. I want to take those steps, agoraphobia sucks...just speaking the truth!

Dear Authentic Girl,

It's ok to cry sometimes, you know. It's even ok to completely fall apart for a little while so that you can put yourself back together in the way you are supposed to be together...sometimes the pieces of us get a little bit mixed up and we have to let ourselves fall apart so that we can get ourselves back in order.

And...it's ok to grieve over things that we've lost. It's ok to grieve over people that we've lost and it's ok to grieve over time that has been lost. It's ok to feel a bit of a hole in our hearts where loved things used to be.

HERE'S THE IMPORTANT THING, though. Remember, that you can still do the things that you want to do, and work toward the places that you want to be, and learn the things that you want to learn WHILE you are working through grief. You don't have to wait. Sometimes we make ourselves wait until all of the pain is gone to start living the life we want to have. The time to start living the life we want to have is RIGHT NOW....even if it's while we are holding hands with pain. They really can live next to each other...and then when it's time for the pain to go....you are not left alone trying to figure out what to do next....you are already there....just without the pain.

So....please stop waiting, lovely you. Please stand up and take some steps into the places that you want to be. It's ok if your pain comes with you...it really is. Someday it will feel like it's done it's job and it will be gone.......it really will. YOUR JOB is to just keep moving, and you are the only one who can do it.

You know it's time...stand up, sweet sister.....take a step.
You can do this.

Have a wonderful weekend.
xoxo

Grace

Studies

I am following two Studies, Wendy Blight is doing an amazing study on the life of David, and I have got behind on that and on the Mary and Martha study with "Life's not Always Hummingbird's and Fireflies"

More guilt... I didn't exercise this weekend, I felt great on Saturday morning and then woke up from a nap and couldn't turn my head my shoulder and back hurt sooooo badly. So I am behind now in the P90x journey too.... sigh...

But today, the house is clean and baby safe and the Birthday cake is baked not decorated yet and the decorations for the dining area are up and the roast is in the crock pot... and I did my daily bible reading and helped the kids with their schooling today... so, I did some good things mixed in with the things that I haven't done yet...

prioritizing is hard for me. I want to be proud of my accomplishments and let go of the things that are not so urgent and not feel so guilty or overwhelmed. There are so so many good things to do. They all have a cost. I need to choose which good things I need to do and go do them!

Just for today, that is all I have to do!

Love Jesus and let everything else fall in to its place. Thank you Jesus! It is a beautiful fall day, breezy and cool, the leaves are orange and red and falling. The boys have almost finished their school assignments and then they will clean up the yard for tonight's Birthday party.

sore sososos sore

wow, I woke up so sore! And yet feeling very happy and proud of my soreness... Day two of P90x today, we will see how this goes.

I would like to go to zumba today too, I love that class.

Studying for the Aquatic Fitness test has me a bit overwhelmed but I am trying to take it in small pieces. They said that 79 percent of the people who take it pass... I don't want to be in the 21 percent that don't... but I think "think positive Keri... keep reading, keep reviewing, keep going" and then I feel overwhelmed again... yikes... continuous trying to change failing thought patterns is so tough, so so tough!

LIVE

I love this blog that encouraged us to teach our kids to LIVE!

Oh how I want to appreciate each moment of each day, every second is a gift!! LIVE!!

OuR sWeEt MoMeNts!!!!

grief

for Mark and his family

for Bobby and Stephanie and their family

for Kylee and Tyler and their family...

so much loss, death, pain

feeling that it wasn't supposed to be this way. It wasn't God's plan, the depth of pain and heartache, the tears that don't stop, It wasn't ever what He wanted for us. It is not His perfect plan but He will use it for good. He has too, He is perfect, He is Love...

Emotional Abuse

So...

I see myself in all of the words on this page and I want to get better so I am sharing it with you. It is as if the author looked at my life and wrote it down, it totally amazed me.

I am recovering from self harm.

I am recovering from feelings of worthlessness.

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

I can get better!

http://eqi.org/eabuse1.htm

Amazing Women

Everywhere I turned around yesterday I saw the most amazing women. I got to help in the Girls on the Run booth at the Women's Fitness Celebration and everywhere I looked and walked I saw strong, bold, smiling, beautiful women. They were in all shapes and sizes. Some looked like they were going to run a marathon on Saturday. Some looked like they were going to cross the finish line very slowly, maybe with the help of a walker or a wheelchair but as they stood in line to pick up there numbers and race bags and as they walked around and chatted with all the vendors and picked up free things and entered drawings their eyes sparkled with excitement. They were happy. Strong...

Happy: emotionally,spiritually, physically, relationally...

I don't feel like I arrived there. But I saw some women that are on the same journey of life yesterday and I got to talk with some of them and they tried to encourage me as much as I tried to tell them good job, thank you for your example, thank you for your courage, thank you for all that you do because you make a wake that other women like me, who are struggling in the water behind you... maybe I can fall into your wake and get pulled along for a little bit, I don't have the strength to swim by myself right now.... Thank you amazing women!

One amazing woman encouraged me again this morning on her blog. She said "If you ever wanted to learn something from mistakes I have made…or pain that I have ever had…that MANY of us have had…….just learn the lesson that everything has a cost….and that a very very good, simple and beautiful way to live is to have a few things that you love…..that you love to do….that you believe in and don’t mind sacrificing for…and that you give all that you have to those things instead of spreading yourself thin and scrambling to pay for things that you really didn’t ever want as badly as you thought you did…..whether those are real tangible things, or emotional things or relationship sorts of things……..This time around, I am going to cherish the things that I cherish, I am going to try harder to pass on the things that are too costly right now….and I am going to make time to love the things that bring joy and peace and meaning……..and stay the heck away from the things that COST me my joy, peace and meaning." Melody

I want to be brave like Melody and the other women that I saw yesterday.

I guess in a way I was brave because I got to talk about the Girls on the Run yesterday with lots of them who had never heard of it. I have a passion for that. It is one of the things that has a cost in my life that I want to give more too. If little girls could learn to be brave when they are little then it would be so much easier to be brave when you are big...

Be Brave, Be wise, Be strong, Be Amazing... I know that if I saw you I would tell you that you already are, maybe you just don't believe it, maybe you just don't know it yet...

Being Home

Being Home... we need money, we need food, we are provided for bare minimum, no extras, no eating out, I have gotten creative with the pantry and stretched the food budget to the max.

We are doing okay, God is providing but I keep looking for work and getting the "another candidate was selected" note. It is discouraging but I keep thinking, well, Jesus must have something else... I have gotten so much encouragement from the Aquatics Instructor who has taken me under her wing to learn the ropes and pass the test in November. But no CNA jobs have opened up.

I want to trust Jesus. I love being home, I love helping my kids with their reading and homework. I love helping with the girls on the run program, I love that I will get to help in the one year old class at our new church soon. Our new church, thank you Jesus, for our new church...

so I am thankful for the free peaches and tomatoes and the basil that I got this week, I am thankful for getting to be home and babysit my grand daughter.

I love being home, So thank you Jesus for everything, even this is so hard, but I love being home...

Doing my Best...

It is okay to be me... that is the message that I got from the Brave Girls post today, thank you Melody! Thank you so much for permission to let go of what I can't ever be and be me, It seems so simple but it is SO BIG!!

It is okay to cry and be brave at the same time

cried today like I haven't cried in a long time...

Total shock, fear, dismay, how could this be happening?

and then this post from the Brave Girl's Club...

don't you dare, don't you dare! don't you dare!!! don't you dare give up now...

Life is hard sometimes—
crazy, mixed-up, messed up.
And there you are, in the middle of it all,
just doing your thing...
being strong and brave and beautiful
like it’s no big deal.

But let me tell you, girl, it is.
Not everyone can do what you can do.
Not everyone can handle things the way you can.
While you wonder sometimes if you’re doing OK...
the rest of us are just watching in wonder.

Be strong and let your heart take courage, all you who hope in the Lord. PS 31:24

from InCourage today

Sarah Mae's Blog spoke to my heart today :D

The video called "Lord Save Us from Your Followers" is available on Netflix and I think everyone who claims to be a christian should watch this movie... without LOVE we are..." I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal." 1 cor. 13:1